I'm often told that I think too much of the things that happen around me. Sometimes, I feel like I deserve every badness I've faced and I let myself down thinking that I'm a waste of space. Whether it's my exam results or my inability to make a good pizza I started worrying over every little thing I do wrong in my life. I had enough of people telling me that I need to do this and that but none of them really saw what I wanted to become, what abilities I have and what I want my life to be like. Slowly and irreversibly I started hating each and everyone around me including my parents. Though they meant only good for me, their good became something compared to hell for me. They wanted me to become their pet while I wanted to be the stray basset hound roaming free everywhere. I was told not to go out with boys because they expect nothing less but to corrupt me. When I was sixteen years, I had this phobia kind of a thing whenever I stand next to a boy. I go sweating and shaking and very near to faint. My parents didn't know about this because they were too busy shaping up their own and my life to suit the social standards. When young girls of my age were free, I was in a prison inside my own head. They sought love while I ran away from it.
There were times when I thought of committing suicide because I felt so down. I kept getting lower and lower marks for my tests. I wished away myself because I was not beautiful. I envied my class mates who had satin like skins and perfect faces without pimples. Why do bad things always happen to me?
I was the most miserable person in the whole school. People called me "miserable Miley" behind my back. My friends kept their distance with me, not wanting to get infected with my miserableness. I was the loneliest among thousands, the silent moaner in a noisy classroom and the sad face in a bunch of happy ones. I was used to being treated like a scum bag. I hardly passed my tests. My parents lost their hopes on me and they gave up on me, treating me with no higher than a servant. They never actually spent time to talk with me and most of the time I had dinner alone because they were busy with their business meetings and dinner parties.
I was glad that I was finally getting to say good bye to my dreadful high school. I had enough of it. After two weeks since our last year started, I saw a new face next to my locker. Black hair, tall figure, slim body, a unique pleasant smell that was definitely not a perfume and two amazingly beautiful brown eyes were standing next to me. He turned to face me and he had the most amazing smile I've ever seen. "Hi!" he said and the next thing I knew was that I woke up in sick bay.
The boy with brown eyes was standing next to my bed with a curious look. I needed oxygen! Surprised but he spoke.
"I thought you were never going to wake. It must have been something you ate in the morning. Or did you not eat anything at all? You fainted so I brought you here."
I did not know what to say.
"I'm Shane by the way. I heard you are Miley." He smiled and my heart rate was above 150.
That was the first time I met Shane. Shane Reynolds; a transfer student from a neighboring high school because his father had to come here for work reasons. Soon after our first incident he got to know what I was... Me being miserable part and lousy and etc etc etc. But surprisingly he did not care. He sat with me at lunch. We had three classes together and he not to mention he was the brightest our teachers had ever seen. Because of his pleasant appearance and smart personality girls kept throwing fancy and flirty smiles at him while I was subjected to all the glares and shitty things simply because he was in talking terms with me.
No one can blame him for getting so much attention because he had the most amazing personality or attitude. If you see him you will only see him smiling not crying. He never brags about anything. He had solutions to every tiny and big problem. He was logical but not judgmental. When he laughs he laughs with his whole body. He was a listener, a real gentleman and an intelligent philosopher. When he discovered my test results, he began tutoring me. He always said "You can, I know you can". He got to know my parents, even they were surprised to see such a good natured guy. He was my best friend and he respected our friendship so much that he never let his own friends insult me in front of him.
Time flew and our first semester results came. I was so surprised to see mine because I was within the top ten. Obviously Shane was the topper. I could not thank him more. He was a life saver. He was happy that I got through and he said nothing more. He loved played soccer at school. He kept telling me that I ought to try something too. I started playing Basket Ball and got selected to our school team. My life was getting better and better all because of Shane.
I had to admit that I started to feel something more than friendship for him. He was caring, loving and his features they all were so appealing. I might have started loving his soul through his beautiful brown eyes since I first saw him but it took me time to realize it. I knew he liked long hair so I started growing mine long. I changed my wardrobe into more girly stuff. Shane never minded what I wore at school though he once mentioned I looked pretty on summer dresses.
Our last year came to an end with prom and graduation. Shane topped the batch as expected with me becoming the fifth highest. Prom was around the corner when Shane came to me and asked whether I wanted to go for prom with him. I was over whelmed and said okay. I knew so many girls would die for this chance and Shane wanted this to be a normal thing. But it turned out to be quite not abnormal when some rude girls started to spread the rumor that Shane was only doing me a favor by asking because no boy would ever want to go with me to prom. I don't know but for some reason I started to believe in that too. What if I was wrong? What id he considers me only as a friend? What if he doesn't love me and doing me a favor only? I was the miserable Miley again.
I had already said yes to Shane and he expected me to be ready. I had bought a beautiful dress weeks ago even before he asked me. I had no choice and I could not let him be sad so I came to prom with him. My mother sent me to one of her customer's saloon to dress me three hours before the prom and Shane was to pick me up from there. His most beautiful eyes were twinkling and his face was glowing with my favourite smile. He said I was looking very beautiful that day. I thought he was lying. I can't be beautiful. When we arrived at school together. He held my hand tight in his and had a champion's smile on his face. I was afraid to look at anyone's face so I kept my eyes low.
All I could hear was "ooh!"s and "Aaaah!"s and gasping. I was still afraid. Mary, my ex best frien came to me with a smile and said "Miley, you look so beautiful. I'm so sorry for what I was before."
My world was spinning now. What's happening?
When Shane asked me to dance with him I said that I don't know how. He said he did not like dancing in public either but today is special. Unwillingly I stood up and went with him and slowly and smoothly we started to sway. Just before the song was to end. He kissed me full on my lips. OMG!
It was our first kiss and even after forty seven years, I feel like it's our first kiss whenever we seal our lips.
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